Cat Log: The Embiggening, Part I

Ozzy nesting

It’s been nearly a month since I last recorded what was happening with my new kitten, Lee Harvey Oswald, or “Ozzy” (not necessarily a reverential naming, by the way). Since then, much like his namesake, Ozzy has made some history of his own. My original plan was to check-in and write up a formal Cat Log update once a month, so here we are.

Right off the bat, the most noticeable difference between Ozzy of Old and Ozzy of New is his size. It’s a bit difficult to assess the progress he’s made in the weight department from pictures alone, but this cat is getting BIG.

The Embiggening

Ozzy showing his belly

When we got Ozzy, he was somewhat small for his size, so I figured tracking his weight from the get-go would be prudent. Unfortunately, we don’t have a bathroom scale, so I made do by repurposing a kitchen scale my partner had recently purchased. To avoid involuntarily incorporating Felis Catus Turdus and other cat-borne nastiness into my cooking, I would place Ozzy in a large pot or basket before weighing him and calibrate the scale accordingly.

For a while, the kitchen scale worked well enough as an impromptu cat-weighing device. But as Ozzy got larger and more energetic, it became increasingly difficult to get him to sit still for an accurate reading. After one too many failed weighing sessions, I ultimately gave up and stopped weighing him entirely.

But, just today, my partner decided to weigh him for the first time since late May, and we were both utterly astonished by the result.

This furry squirrel-looking rodent-killer now weighs a whopping 7 lbs and 10 ounces.

For reference, my partner’s adult cat — a tuxedo-siamese male named Vash — weighs about 11 pounds. I’ve been joking lately that Ozzy looks like he’s 2/3rds the size of Vash — turns out my math wasn’t far off.

It should be noted that Maine Coons and Norwegian Forest Cats are generally regarded as “plus-size” breeds, with males of each breed commonly maturing to 13-18 pounds and 10-20 pounds, respectively. As far as we know, Ozzy is a Maine Coon/Norwegian Forest Cat mix, so we think he’s due for some serious ballooning. But, truthfully, there’s no telling exactly how big he’s going to get without waiting to see for ourselves.

On the other hand, Ozzy currently weighs in at 5% of the weight of Lee Harvey Oswald at his death (~150 lbs), so the likelihood of him maturing into a Soviet-sympathizing human-feline-hybrid warrior seems slim. I’m a bit miffed by this, as I paid good money for that one guy’s book on anthropomorphic voodoo reincarnation at the flea market — but that’s a topic for a different time.

The Silvering

Ozzy's silver belly

Ozzy looking like he’s ripped the fluff out of his own stuffed teddy bear stomach

Aside from nearly doubling in size since I last wrote about him, I also noted another startling development regarding Ozzy: an emergence of silver-white fur on his belly. To me, this sudden color variation is somewhat unprecedented, as Ozzy was uniformly smoky-black when we got him. However, much like a cloudy sky, cat fur patterns do change and shift with time, so some dramatic color-shifting is warranted.

Who knows — in the coming months and years, Ozzy could go from having predominantly black fur to a balanced mixture of black and white. Personally, I’ve always liked the frosted tips look, so I’m A-okay with my cat having a stomach that’s strangely reminiscent of 2000s-era boy bands.

Until next time, Happy Caturday!

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