So, while I was trying to figure out just how I would tackle my seemingly insurmountable school workload, Activision announced a new TMNT game. Why am I never around when these things happen? Luckily, I saw a tweet about it, did a quick google search, and was presented with this:
Now, obviously I’m a big Ninja Turtles guy. Any new announcement regarding the franchise is likely to turn my head, especially because there are so few of them. But a new Ninja Turtles game? Yeah, man – it’s been a while.
So, logically I check out the trailer – which you can watch for yourself down below, and… well, I’ll just attempt to recreate my reaction from there.
[youtube http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=FbIjCxilbKU]I press play and it starts. The trailer seems nice enough. You’ve got some pleasing Far Cry 3-esque sounds going on as various news headlines show on-screen. Then we get some gameplay happening, and it looks good – rather dark and gritty looking for a game based on the new Nickelodeon series, but then again, I’m all for tha-
Uh, …what the fuck is that? Is that… Raph? Wait, what?
Hold on, zoom and enhance this shit.
Oh god. No. Nononononono. This can’t be happening. What in gods name did they do to him?
Dude. He looks like a friggin’ Locust Drone from Gears of War.
…I have an idea. Computer, generate an image of a Locust Drone as a Ninja turtle.
Holy fucking shit. Holy fucking shit. I cannot believe this.
So that was pretty much my reaction. Now, hear me out. The game itself, from what little is shown in the trailer, looks good. These designs? They might just have been pulled out of somone’s ass, because dear god what happened here.
Things get even worse when you go to color.
Look at his complexion. He looks like a goddamn watermelon.
Ugh, I don’t know man, I just don’t know. Is this some movie tie-in deal with that supposed horror-show that Michael Bay was making? Why the fuck does Raphael look like a watermelon? I mean, again – the game looks pretty good, and I’m excited, I guess. But it’s just one of those things, man. Like, I cannot un-see.
I’m going back to my schoolwork now. Even school stuff makes more sense now that I’ve been exposed to… whatever this is.
So, new TMNT game. Um, yay?